"STRANGER IN THE MIRROR"

I Have Returned

OMHH....Oh My Holy Hell...that is what that means. Because holy crap, what is a blog again? Oh, and when was the last time I was here? Missing my rants.

My poor lowly blog, oh have I missed you. Forgot all about you. No place to vent. I think you were replaced by Facebook, but oh so not on purpose. I swear to all things holy.

So much crap going on and nowhere to go with it. But, alas, you have not left me.

I have since lost a husband by death and a daughter by life.  I am so lost. So trying to be the person everyone wants me to be and yet I am. I am just me. Can't even be here for me let alone all these things everyone wants, thinks, prays, that I should be. I just am.

Just-trying-to-be.  

So glad that I found you again. Such a great feeling to know I can vent and hopefully not be judged. Do not need any judging right now. Just need to vent.

I promise to return....and soon. Thank you for not judging and just being there for me. I knew that I kept you for a reason. Please just be here. I will be back!

I do think I can finally sleep now. Thanks to you my poor forgotten blog.

CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME...on so many levels

OK..where do I begin?

Charity really does begin right here, at home.  Please don't hate on me (I'm really not in the mood to debate) but seriously, right fargin here at home!!!

I get the whole Haiti thing, people are suffering, no homes, no life, no parents for the kids. Seriously, sounds like right where I am living. Every single day when I leave the comfort of my home...I see people, with kids, begging for help. Food, a place to live, medical care, whatever... I SEE them. They cry out for help. Help I can no longer provide all by myself. Still, they need help. What do we do? We rally around Haiti.  We have big ass benefits, we sing, we dance, we raise money for Haiti. Oh I get it. Haiti had an earthquake, kids are homeless, people need water, people need food, people just need! Well, guess what...so do we...right here in the good ole' US of A.  I believe that we should pay attention to our own...first!  Then we can reach out and help others. Not until we are done helping our own Moms and kids. Gosh, that sure felt good!

We need to take care of our own, right here, right now, and real quick.  I don't have enough on my own to help or I would. I swear to God Almighty, I would.

Our own families are not even connected. Please, enough! Dial your cell phones and send just 50 cents per child right in your own neighborhoods. Our people need food right the friggin here.

I believe this will be my last post on my blog. I don't come here and blog very often, I pay money for this here blog, and I would much rather help wherever I can for the $$$ I pay here.  After this post I am going to cancel this blog. I have enough social media to keep me moving, I don't need this. yes, I feel that strongly about helping my people right here in my own hometown.

OK, off my soapbox now. I am serious about the blog thing. What a waste. I never even come here anymore. It served its purpose back in the day and if I pass this way again I'll start a new one.

Please, go and donate to your local soup kitchen, give whatever you can to help our people...right here at home. If you have something left, then by all means send something to Haiti.

After that, go and hug your own people and tell them how much they mean to you. Believe me, they will thank you for it. Everybody needs somebody and CHARITY REALLY DOES BEGIN AT HOME!!!!  Enough said!

Oh, and thank you to my whole 3 readers...love you guys, you have truly helped me through some tough times....I will always have your backs.  That would be Sandi, Tug, and Kristen...and I lied, Carrie and Gina too.  It has been quite a ride. All good!!!

See ya on Facebook or the next blog.

No, I did not spellcheck! Get over it. Thankseversomuch!

SNIPPETS...and other musings

Puurfect.... That is what I usually aspire to be and guess what? Yes, you win all the shiny ponies, it isn't workingfor me. Just sayin'.

I'm sure that I totally forgot how to spell anything. Get over it! I'm trying to notbe puurfect.

I am convinced that Bitter really is the new black. Don't ask, just go with me on this one. M'kay?

The holidays are once again upon us. Yes, I'm sure you knew that. There was a time that I absolutely adored anything holiday-ish. The key word being was....Yah, I'm now the Grinch. I don't want to be, I just feel myself turning into that person.

People, I've lost my PMA. It's in the same place that my old face and body went to. If you see them anywhere call me immediately. I sure could use them!

I'm convinced that I truly think all men suck and are creeps. This lil' bit of info will remain deep in my soul.....because I have one of those girl children left who may or may not be waiting for her Prince Charming. Sheesh, I do not want to burst any bubbles, but I'm thinking her chances are basically slim to none. Please, never let on that you read it here first. That girl is a dreamer and I say, have at it.

Work is basically starting to interfere with the non-existent little social life I have left.

This new Typepad can go suck it as well, I pay for this crap and half the time I have no idea what is going on with the format and everything else. Thought I would just throw that out there for whatever reason. Don't ask, I'm on a roll this evening.

Basically I really needed to get a million few things off my chest before the Merry, Merry, Happy, Happy, stuff starts. I want to be in the moment when and if it finally happens.

Oh, and just so you know....I'm busy striving to make sure it happens. Cause, remember me?  PUURFECT!!!

Just When I Thought My Ship Came In....

Yah, I had to be at the airport! It's always something, as Gilda Radnor would say.

Always something! Isn't that the truth.

Oh, and always around the holidays. Isn't that the time they say brings out the best worst in people? In my immediate circle that so rings true. Let's revisit the holidays....shall we?

Last year the poor hubs was not doing so well over here at Casa la Christy....yes, the poor man went into the hospital the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and never came home.Yes, true story.  This was also the time that the Oldest daughter decided to tell me she was moving on with her life. Leaving the husband behind, never mind for better or worse, that's the way it was going to be.  Excuse me?  Your father is not doing well, do we have to be talking about your (very much alive) life? Oh, and now, while he is not doing well?  Can this not wait? Oh no! I should have a life, I deserve better, I want more for myself and my kids! Let's see....is he beating you? That would be a no!  OK, does he have another woman?  That would be a negative.  Oh, then surely he must be a secret alcoholic....Yah, that would also be a no.  Oy, then what the hell is it that gives you the urge to burden me with more shit?  I deserve better.  Um, ok, better than what? What the hell did the guy do?  He works too much.  Okaaayyyy, I get it. He's trying to support you and the kids. Yep, definitely a deal breaker in my book. WTF is going on here?

Better yet, where the hell did I fail?  It's always the mother, right?  What the hell did I do to impart the whole "he works too much" let's get a divorce attitude?  OMFCHH!!!  Annndddd, it doesn't end there.  We are picking up right where we left off last year, save for the dying husband/father.

I may have to kill her yet!  Seriously, how in the hell can I let her live in good conscience?I would be doing her a horrible injustice if I let her live.  Please tell me you agree with me.  Save for the whole murder/jail-time thing.

Only kidding...maybe.

Hey, that felt good. To vent!  I do realize in the whole scheme of things and life, this too shall pass once I kill her because as a very wise person my mother once told me "you can do anything if you know it's not forever".  Hell, I'm trying! Sure feels like forever though.  Just sayin' cause I'm not getting any younger. Whatever!

Poor Anissa, lately she is putting all my schizzle into perspective for me. A stroke! At age 35. Holy shit!!! They have 3 small kids, WTF...why???  I ask God every night why?  The girl is awesome. Good people, Why???  I just have to keep praying. Maybe it is to give us all some insight as to what our lives could be like. Don't know! So very sad. Pray, and hard!!!

There really is a God, whatever you perceive him/her to be. My life was a total shit-storm before I even had this shit-storm that has become my life...seriously, I should not even be here! Complaining about my bratty 39 year old...BRAT!!!

Keep up with me, changing subjects now.  The BEARS suck!!!  Seriously, the NEW YORK Yankees they are not!  Us New Yorkers, we are a tough breed! I love me my Bears...but they just suck. Or management sucks or whatever.

Work tomorrow. Why? Enough on that.

Company on Tuesday for Thanksgiving. That would be my son and his wife. They have now "moneyed up" and think they don't need anyone. Oy, let's all wait for that bubble to burst, shall we? Yah, cause you know it will. We all need someone. Just sayin', you heard it heard first!

Let's see... oh yeah, that leaves us with the younger daughter. All I can say for her is just PRAY...real hard! Her life is a total train-wreck as well. Not so much in a bad, horrible way, but still. All the old boyfriends making her life hell. The girl is good people, it will come ...as long as she can hang in there. Against all odds!

But, Hey....Life is good, No?  As I said before, You can do anything if you know it's not forever.  It isn't forever, is it?  Please tell me this too shall pass.  Humor me, m'kay!

This my friends is why I pay the big bucks to typepad. They let me vent, they don't judge, you are not judging me, are you? You best not be. We all have a few skeletons in the closet, right?

Alrighty then. I think I'm done, for now. Gosh, I sure needed that, thanks for listening and/or reading. Whatever.  Off to finish my day as I started it, with housework.

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving.  I'm sure we can all find lots to be thankful for, remember Anissa. Pray, hard!

WHERE THE HELL AM I???

OK, so I don't blog for nine million months what the hell happened to my poor wittle blog?

First, I go to sign in and they don't remember me. Are we kidding?  It's a sad day when your own blog doesn't know who the hell you are.  Just sayin'....cause that would be important.

My life.  Where do I even begin? Not sure.  Whatever, my life has been a shitstorm personified.  What the hell hasn't happened?  Oh right, I'm still alive BFD....

I'll be coming up on a year since my poor hubs died.  One whole year.  I can't even wrap my brain around that one. The scarier part is that I too am another year younger older. How the hell did that happen?  Where did the year almost go? Better yet, I still haven't done half of the crap that I should have done regarding paperwork, accounts, bills, oy, it goes on and freakin on.

All I seem to do is work and constantly put out fires.  Big HUGE fires.  You know, 2 steps forward and 67 backwards?  Yep, that would be me.

Hoo boy, where was I?  Oh yeah, fires....too many.

However I did miss "me" lil' old blog.  I've been so tired and/or just plain bummed out that I didn't want to write about anything.  I'm baacck!!!  I know, who the hell cares?  I do!

I miss all my blog "peeps". I have managed to still read all my blogs but so many of my favorites have stopped blogging and of course there is Facebook and OMG Twitter and a bazillion other techy ways to go.  If that wasn't a run on sentence I don't know what one is. Sheesh!

Maybe I need some ADD drugs because I start typing and forget what the hell I wanted to say. Surely that is not normal.

Do the rest of you guys just go to work, come home and then start your day all over?  That is surely what I do and it is something that I am so not used to.  I used to have a real honest to goodness life. I swear I did.  It isn't hubs either. We did not live out of each others back pockets.  He did his thing and I had the time to do mine.  I swear I was less busy when he was here and sick. I still found the time to do all I loved.  Now...it seems all I do is work, come home and work and then go to bed.  Oh, and then go to work some more.  Fun. No?

Well, the bitch is back!  I think I woke up this morning, head cold and all and thought FTS...I needs me a life. I decided that I'll have to give notice at work.  It is no longer enjoyable.  I'd rather be selling baskets at a market in South Carolina.  Seriously, I really would.

Not sure exactly what I will be doing when I quit....after the 1st of the year, but hey, whatever.  Life is short!  I'll find something.

My son and his wife are having their first little girl in February.  They will need some of Grammy's funnies and help.  I would love to go over to Children's Hospital and hold me some sick preemies for a few hours.  Approved!  These things will become my reality after I give my notice.

In the meantime, I'm plugging away at life.  Trying to figure out what papers I still need to deal with, working, cleaning, and whatever else I do in the course of a day. Oh, and still following my awesome people on Facebook, twitter, whatever.

I can honestly say that all my Facebooking, Twittering, and blog reading has allowed me my sanity over the course of this year.  Thank you!

Note to self, take time for me!

Take some time for yourselves too....It's on the house!

BLOGGING FOR DOLLARS

Alrighty then, I believe I have your attention.

I'll be blogging for dollars right after I finish swimming Lake Michigan to Michigan at midnight.

So, Blogher was very interesting. I honestly had a blast, met more awesome ladies and Avitable, life is good!  Oh, also met karlerickson in the living flesh! Yes, he is all that and a bag of chips. The cheeseburgHER party was the grand finale for me and Lindsay and friends who hosted....you guys are absolutely the best!! Actually you are the best-est! True story.  You are like "rock stars".

My neighbor who has the  www.snarkymommy.com blog hosted the lovely Sarah from Life at 45 degrees and I was in blogger heaven.

Anywho, there always seems to be a few asses that come to these events. People who ask for you to pay their way to get here. Pay their way....you did see that, right? I was always taught that if you can't afford it, you don't need it.  If they were sponsored by a company that is different. Asking for $$$ I don't believe in my simple mind is right. Call me old fashioned, I am old, from a different era, whatever. So Tug, next time you want to come to Blogher, just ask someone to send you money! M'Kay? It is allowed and people actually do contribute. Go figure.

They do give away quite a bit of "swag" at blogher. Yes, swag is just a moniker for free shit! Lots of it. Awesome free shit! Real clothes and toys and OMG my brain is about to explode any minute.

I made the rounds on Friday after registering. My arm hurt from dragging swag all day. I finally had to ask different Moms to just take it. I could no longer carry it all. Bags of swag. Seriously, I so am not kidding. Half of the items I swear to you I did not even want.  I don't have wee ones anymore. No need for playdoh and little toy trinkets and such. They forced it on me. Here, you may know someone who might want this. Um, no, I don't believe I will be needing that stuff anytime soon. Oh well, lots of swag to be given away! Who knew.

Hence the name of my post!  If you are a good blogger, you know, no run on sentences and the like, you can actually get some good swag. Lots of awesome stuff and then FedEx is on site to ship your shit home. W-O-W...I wish I could write! Only kidding because I don't need any strollers or baby clothes. I'm sure you get the picture.

Then, a very big then....we have the selfish people who will kick your ass to get to a Strawberry Shortcake doll.....I kid you not. Who does that? Knock me out of the way for a free item. Hell, just ask me next time....it's all yours. Remember me? I didn't want or need half the stuff I got. Yah, selfish, rude people. OMG and they are Moms, of little ones. Sheesh!

I'm thinking that some of the women don't get out much! To shop and stuff. Oy!!

In my stupid lil' brain these people were the minority. I met some wonderful, brilliant, awesome peeps.

(minor drama for a second) someone actually tries to STEAL my last hanging basket off my deck. Stupid Fuckers! I went off on the guy and if he ever returns here I probably will be in jail! Yes I was that mad! Don't mess with my shit! Get a job you loser!!

So, where was I? Oh, blogher, that's right. The good people. The ones that come for business and not all the drama. Those ladies were just fabulous!  Lindsay, Chris, Mir, and Kristen, you really are stand up people.

I know there were tons more and I was so overwhelmed with the whole thing that I don't remember all their names. I do remember their blogs because I was smart enough to get their cards.

If you ever get a chance, in other words if there is a Blogher convention near you anytime soon, you MUST go. It really was all it was cracked up to be. Please don't get all down on them until you attend one. It was so much fun and I'm not being paid to say that AND I was an outsider!

On a side note, if you read karl's blog www.secondhandtrytophan.com, he is much funnier in person....

OK, done now, your welcome!

TWO COMFIRMATIONS, A BAPTISM AND whatever...

Yes, I still have a blog. OMG, it is still here. Who knew?

OK, so shoot me, I have been busy.  Doing what?  Not sure, but something.  Obviously something because I haven't blogged.  Lately I'm not sure if I should "shit or wind my watch".  True story!

It seems as though work, cleaning, paying bills and sometimes eating have totally gotten in my way.  That and maybe some sleeping has been involved.  Or maybe alot of sleeping.  Just sayin!

Anywho...Blogher starts this weekend and I thought it would be appropriate if I, well, blogged.  Um, hello...blogher, blogging, you know, pretend that I am one of the "cool people"...having a blog and all.  I have been trying to figure out how to NOT work and still survive. Seriously, it is the stuff that dreams are made of. No?

I am excited about Blogher.  This will be my first year that I am actually invited to the Cheeseburgher party. Yes, I know, I have no life! Truly, I know this already.  Go ahead..make fun of me, call me names, I don't care!  I am going to the Cheeseburgher Party. I am ok with it.

I will post lots of pics and I will be with all the "cool" people.  Oh yes, you will all be jealous. Maybe!

I do have many stories. I don't however, have time for them. Drama, OMFC, I have so much drama in my life and honestly no time to talk about it.  Don't be jealous. It is coming to a town near to you soon! Promise!

In the meantime..pray that I don't totally make an ass out of myself next weekend. Yes, it isn't hard for me to do. I'll keep you posted.

Oy, I finally got a blog posted before Blogher!  That was huge.  Boring, but huge!

Sandi, I hope your birthday was awesome! Mine's coming and I expect it to be just as awesome. Not kidding either!

 

WHEW!! THAT MADE ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER

Are we kidding here?

Now the "Bigwigs" are trying to say we should feel sorry for the asshats because they didn't get their whole bonus. Are you serious? Excuse me! So they didn't get the 1.5 million that they were supposed to get. Hey, they only got $500 thousand.

Yeah right, I think I'll go cry for them.

TECH - NO - LOGY

You get it yet?  Yah, well check out the "NO" that would be me. I have none of the above.  Or very little at least.

I've had no Internet for 2 days. That was not my fault, nope, not this time. I called the ass hats from Comcast last week to report several issues with my Internet. By several I meant no Internet. Ok, they came out last Weds. my day off. Yes, I had to wait around all day for the idiots and no, the problem was not resolved in its entirety. I kindly asked them to switch out my modem because it was quite elderly and remember me, I have brand shiny new computers that are a part of the new century.

The ass hat told me that all the equipment I had was top notch, blah freakin' blah.

Anywho, cut to 4 days later and walaa, no Internets!

I called the ass-hats again and they came out this morning. You don't really want to know what they replaced. If you guessed my 90 year old modem you would win.

For this I lost money, had to take time off work for them to come and tell me the ONE thing I knew about technology. Karma is truly a bitch! The kind of bitch I have been all week to everyone. Yes she is! Payback is never pretty.

So, now I have me my computer back.

Moving on.

Twitter, I mentioned this in one of my posts somewhere, hey, I'm still not that advanced.  Anywho, I signed on for the phone version, cause you know, I work and all and like to keep up with the "cool" people. Apparently, though they don't tell you, this costs eleventy billion $$$. Oh yes it does. I got my recent cell bill and omgwtf is all this shit. I was on a premium plan because of the twittering.

Does it ever end?

You don't eeeeven want to know how the rest of my month has been going.  Trust me it hasn't been pretty.

The weather is ab- so -lute -ly freakin' awesome today, so I'll quit my bitching and go up on my deck and enjoy the rest of my day. There may or may not be wine involved cause I am off tomorrow!

Tomorrow is another day and I'm going to try to get out of bed on the other side.