"STRANGER IN THE MIRROR"

PUTER...PUTER...ON THE WALL

Whoops.....wrong fairytale.  It is however the right one for MEEEE!

I have a brand spanking new computer and the good news is that it...really....does...work. Yippee.

So, I must recap my entire month of purchases. Hey, when it rains, it freakin' pours. Right?

New washer and dryer. OMG....seriously, who knew that these things could cost so much money. Now new computer, again the money thing. I know! I might actually end up selling pencils on the corner after all. Maybe.

The sucky part is that I now have to start over with all my favorites, the bill paying online and wah! wah! wah!  I know, cry, cry. I had to say it.

So my awesome blog peeps....I am back with a vengeance. I have been missin' mah peeps and their blog stories.

I am now in heaven!

WALMART

Need I say more?

Now I know why I haven't been there in almost a year.

While some of the prices are very good there are many other reasons that Walmart has not been on my radar.  The key one being United Nations.

I am so sorry people, but I swear to you I could not wait to get the hell out of there today. If it weren't for my $100 gift card I swear on all that is holy....I would have never gone there.

I had to come home and immediately take a nap. That would be from the exhaustion of trying to figure out exactly what the hell anyone was saying or talking about.

I am seriously not even going to kid you about this one.

That, and I do have witnesses!  True story!

By the way, there is not one Walmart right here, in the city, close to me.

God is good!

I apologize in advance if anyone is offended by anything I said.  I do want you to know that all of it is true. You know it is.

Nuff said!

BULLETS FROM A "BOOMER" TO THE YOUNGINS'

JUST SAYIN'

Irons:  Does anyone under the age of 30 even own one?  Is it fashionable these days to go to work with that I just got out of bed look?

Manners:  Did I miss something along the way? Are we not using them anymore?

Work Ethic:  Do you expect to get paid for just showing up?

Slanguage:  Was grammar offered to you in school?  Did you refuse it?

I can't lie, I am just a little frightened by what I'm seeing and hearing lately.

That or I am really old?

WHO KNEW?

I haven't been too far.  I have been trying to post something, anything, but my computer has had other ideas. They are called let's screw her over and not work.

I have honestly spent the last couple hourstrying to catch up on all my blogs and pay my bills online before my computer decides that I've had enough Internet time.

Thank goodness for my "Crackberry" or I would be lost! Why yes I do know I am pathetic.

I wish someone had given me a heads up on everything that happens when someone you lived with and shared everything with like mortgages, bills, and whatever, dies. It has been "just too much". I have no idea what the hell I am doing. Thank you cards are all still not written and my living room floor is awash in various papers. I'm sure that some of them must be important. I wouldn't know cause I'm pretending I don't really see them. Hey, I have some mad skillz when it comes to avoidance.

Hopefully I will have all this sorted out before Spring.  If that doesn't happen I see a future career here in pencil selling on street corners. Sheesh!

I'm hoping to get back to blogging again. I do miss it.  I'll have to get my computer and Internet to jump on board and allow me access.

In the meantime I think I'll just go and roll around in some paperwork for awhile.

ONE DAY AT A TIME......

That's how it works. I promise. I have been doing it and I have to honestly say it all doesn't seem so overwhelming.

Thank you my awesome blog peeps for all the well wishes and expressions of sympathy. You have touched the depths of my heart! People that I've only talked to thought the nets. I've said it before and will again...........you guys rule.

I've been going to work everyday. Not the brightest of things I've done. You know, the whole avoidance thing? That's me. I just figure if I can't see it, it really isn't happening.

At some point I will have to address all the issues. There are many. Hubs was a good future thinker and because of that, it should all work out. There are many days, too many to mention, that I want to call and ask him what he thinks about a particular issue. Then I realize, um, he's not here. That part gets rough.

I know that I did have more time than most and that does soften the blow, if just a smidgen. It still hurts and I imagine it will for a long time. My crazy mind keeps rewinding to all the awful things I said or did to him. I ask myself constantly if I did enough. I guess it really is human nature to beat ones self up over such things. After 32 years he had to know I was in for the long haul. Yes, I married when I was 12. Maybe!

We always said during this whole process that "life is for the living" and it goes on. Maybe at some point those words really will ring true. I'm hoping.

In the meantime, life will go on and we will cherish all that was him. It hasn't been too gloomy. My kids are awesome. I should have had 7 more. None of them would get tired of my whining. Just kidding! Maybe.

Thanks again, Gina, Tug, Kristen, Sandy, and all of you guys who wrote me the personal emails. I swear you guys are the best!!!!

Kristen and Sandy I shall continue to harass you on Facebook. Oh, Blogher is coming to Chicago this summer, AGAIN! Yes, we did have that much fun. I'm hoping that you guys can attend. Hey, free rooms here. I live in the city, Lincoln Park, go look it up, it is safe here. I have 3 extra bedrooms. FREE ROOMS....are you hearing me. Tug, get in the car and drive. M'kay? The weather will be warm and most of all I promise to be a most gracious hostess. Sandy, no excuses....your own brother lives here and you can visit the new baby.

It's OK, you guys will still have my heart whether you come or not.

Tug, I really, really, miss your blog! Twitter doesn't really fill the need to read all the funny stories. Just sayin'.

 

IT'S ALL JUST TOO MUCH

Well, the blog is still up and running.  I'm guessing it is because I paid my yearly fee.

November and December are all a blur. A horrible unreal blur.

The New Year has come and with it a new "normal".  My new title is now "widow."  Yes, that is now what I will be called.  Seriously, I've been on the outside looking in for such a long time that I'm starting to believe that this is not really me or my life.  Oh, but it is.  Hubs died on December 28th.  It hasn't actually hit me it.  I put both Thanksgiving and Christmas on hold, but they happened anyway.

I'm guessing that life does happen in spite of us.

It has been 4 years and while I am very happy that I had all this time I have to say, it still wasn't enough. Is it ever?

SERIOUSLY, WHO KNEW

Omg! Seriously, I know! I have a blog. One that I actually shell out money for, what the hell is my problem? Not sure. True story.

My life is in a tailspin at the current moment. It  may or may not involve hospitals, divorces, (not mine) and lots of drama. Thank you!

Alas, it is the holiday season and such silliness can wait until after the holidays. It will have to. I love me some Christmas and that my friends is all I will focus on right now.

What? I can't hear you.....lalalala.

Soooo, on that note, just checking in to see if the blog is really still up and running. Found out it is and now I will go and continue to decorate. M'Kay?

Wish me well, it really all will work out in the end. I promise. Or maybe it is just me and my Pollyanna thinking.

I will report on more later. Hope everyone is done shopping, Ha Ha, baking, Ha, ha, and decorating, and extra Ha Ha Ha! I'm not, but hopefully will be soon.

The show must go on. Right?  OK, now say it with me. THIS TOO SHALL PASS! Sheesh..............

ELECTION DAY

Yes I did get up at the asscrack of dawn to vote. Damn proud of it too! The lines were long and the people were all in a very festive mood. We were all there together voting for change.  Happy Tuesday! Just think Tug, only 3 more days until the weekend!

Isn't life grand?

8 DAYS A WEEK

It certainly felt that way for me. Maybe even 9. Just sayin'.

The little "hobgoblins" were out in full force.  I finally decided to just park myself on the front step to give out candy. I couldn't get anything done what with running to the door every 2 seconds. If you can't beat em' join em', right?

My first full week back at work was busy. I actually forgot how crazy busy my job gets. I swore that there had to be a full moon a coming because people were more strange than usual. I guess Halloween tends to bring out the "best" in folks.

I cannot believe that November is here, I'm not sure where October went. It seriously just flew. Next thing you know it will be Christmas. Yikes!

I know one for sure, I will be so happy when this whole election thing is over. I'm sick to death of all the negative crap from all parties. I certainly will not be one of those people who will suffer from "election withdrawal".

Thanks for all your comments. You guys rule. I know I've said it before but seriously, you really do!

Happy Monday to all! I know it is only Sunday, I'm thinking ahead.

STOPPING TO SMELL THE ROSES

Um, well, maybe not so much. That is what I should be doing. I have to learn how to do that, effectively.

I will admit that I suck at relaxing. I can't give up the reins on any project because I am an absolute control freak. Type "A" control freak at that. It is a horrible burden to bear. Thank you, I bear it for all of us. All the time. WTF!!!

In light of my recent 28 hour hospital stay I must learn to just let it all go. The old "it is what it is" theory. Yeah right! That will happen soon, NOT! However, it must. Something has to give as the old saying goes. Ooops, something did give. Me.

Seriously, am I alone in this? Can all of you Internet friends relax? If so, give me some pointers. I am being serious when I say that I just can't do it.  I swear, I've tried. I used to needlepoint and there are not enough walls to put all the crap that I have spent a bazillion dollars framing. I tried pottery, reading, puzzle books, and a myriad of other very expensive relaxing type hobbies. I've got nothing. They all bring me back to my ADD/Hyperactive/controlling self. Maybe I need to be hypnotized.

I find myself getting anxious just talking about this whole relaxing thing.  I swear, I believe that I even find things to do in my sleep.