That's how it works. I promise. I have been doing it and I have to honestly say it all doesn't seem so overwhelming.
Thank you my awesome blog peeps for all the well wishes and expressions of sympathy. You have touched the depths of my heart! People that I've only talked to thought the nets. I've said it before and will again...........you guys rule.
I've been going to work everyday. Not the brightest of things I've done. You know, the whole avoidance thing? That's me. I just figure if I can't see it, it really isn't happening.
At some point I will have to address all the issues. There are many. Hubs was a good future thinker and because of that, it should all work out. There are many days, too many to mention, that I want to call and ask him what he thinks about a particular issue. Then I realize, um, he's not here. That part gets rough.
I know that I did have more time than most and that does soften the blow, if just a smidgen. It still hurts and I imagine it will for a long time. My crazy mind keeps rewinding to all the awful things I said or did to him. I ask myself constantly if I did enough. I guess it really is human nature to beat ones self up over such things. After 32 years he had to know I was in for the long haul. Yes, I married when I was 12. Maybe!
We always said during this whole process that "life is for the living" and it goes on. Maybe at some point those words really will ring true. I'm hoping.
In the meantime, life will go on and we will cherish all that was him. It hasn't been too gloomy. My kids are awesome. I should have had 7 more. None of them would get tired of my whining. Just kidding! Maybe.
Thanks again, Gina, Tug, Kristen, Sandy, and all of you guys who wrote me the personal emails. I swear you guys are the best!!!!
Kristen and Sandy I shall continue to harass you on Facebook. Oh, Blogher is coming to Chicago this summer, AGAIN! Yes, we did have that much fun. I'm hoping that you guys can attend. Hey, free rooms here. I live in the city, Lincoln Park, go look it up, it is safe here. I have 3 extra bedrooms. FREE ROOMS....are you hearing me. Tug, get in the car and drive. M'kay? The weather will be warm and most of all I promise to be a most gracious hostess. Sandy, no excuses....your own brother lives here and you can visit the new baby.
It's OK, you guys will still have my heart whether you come or not.
Tug, I really, really, miss your blog! Twitter doesn't really fill the need to read all the funny stories. Just sayin'.
